Araw ng mg Puso..2011

 

Its been a while since valentine’s day but i guess now is the only time that I have, to visit my blog.  hehehe so i will try to share my valentine’s day.. Well i spent it at home bwaahahah… walang date eh.. but one of my good friend cathy visited me and spent the whole night in our house. I also got a call from Louie my other bff and bugs . Cathy and me together with my couzin had a drink then try to have a concert bwahahah nag videoki kame… samahan ng walang date sabi nga ng brother ko hahaha…. And speaking of my brother he surprised me on giving me box of chocolate and a simple card… i was really touched… love you bunso…

so that’s how we celebrate valentines… i guess other couples had their date hmmm im thingking how my inay celebrated her first valentines day with itay… hehehehe…

sana next year all of my friends will celebrate valentines with their other half…:-)

2011
02/23
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just nothing…

im not feeling well today…not that im sick, but i think its better to be sick than to feel like this. I have many plans in my head, the things that i wanted to do the whole day but for some reason, reasons that i cant explain i just let the day pass without doing any of the things that i wanted to do… arghhhhhh i hate myself for being like this.

in order to feel better, I open my laptop to keep my self busy. i try browsing my facebook account looking to the pictures of my friends, but its really boring.. I dont feel playing naman today so. i decided to write an entry on my blog… wala lang… i just finished reading notes of my friend from fb.. its really nice…  im not that active anymore on emailing my girls unlike before when i work the whole day at the office.

oh gosh i really need to do something about it… i have a lot of things in line….:-) i really need some air…

2011
01/20
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tiger year 1010

 

It’s been a while since I wrote my last blog.

So this is my first entry for 2011. I guess I would love to share my 2010 experiences. My 2010 is full of decision making, new experiences, challenges and a new lesson to learn; all of it brought changes in my life.

The Decision Making

June 30, 2010 my last day at work. I decided to leave the company where I worked for almost five years and try something that I’m not sure of. I know for others it is a stupid move because today you need to be practical you must do things that will secure your future. But sometimes matigas ang ulo ko.. just wanted to try something out of my league.

When I got back from Singapore I decided to get my aunt (she’s a 4 yrs old child) from Bulacan to live with me. So I decided to be a mom, it’s really a new experience. Even though she’s not came from my womb I felt it doesn’t matter… I can be a MOM.. I hope a good one. I’m learning a lot everyday.

And the biggest decision I ever made is to start to move on… ON EVERYTHING… I decided to really help myself to have a peaceful life. Let the past to be past and start over. And I’m happy on my decision it really helps me a lot…

New Experiences

June 15, 2010 my flight to Singapore my ever first country to visit. It’s a short flight it’s like I just travel from manila to Infanta. But as a first timer on a plane I would say I was a little bit nervous and excited. My Singapore experience will always be special. It’s a great place. I learn a lot from this journey Its fun to know the culture of other country, to experienced their lifestyle, to enjoy their city (that really far different from mine), to taste their food (awtzz dami ko pa rin di nakain hahaha), to make new friends. And Im very lucky to witness their anniversary it’s really great, everyone there is joining the program, and the city is full of lights, the fireworks are awesome the best I ever see. Of course it’s not everyday that someone will always be happy I also have a down moment their. I try to look for a job their but I guess its not really my time. Somehow it made me sad, but not enough to enjoy the whole vacation. I really had a good time. Also one of the reason why Singapore is one of the country that I’m sure I will never forget cause I supposed to meet my hubby their one time when they had the chance to deliver some cargo but for some reason we didn’t able to meet. This really broke my heart. I cried all night I really wanted to see him. I felt really bad and somehow I hate him and myself also because why on earth this is happening, were almost at the same place.. gosh its really true that if its not meant to happen it wont happen.

Challenges

I discover that its really painful if someone you love, the one you expect to be the first one to listen to you will be the first one to say NO without giving you a slightest chance to explain. I can’t believe her reactions, the first thing I felt is dismay and to tell you frankly until this moment I’m not ready to see her. But somehow I felt more encouraged, challenged by what she did. Maybe for her it’s just a small matter but for me I consider it big, I think she did not consider the friendship. I felt I lost her somehow. The rejections, the encouragement, the things I lost and all the painful words that I heard. All the pain I’ve been through teaches me to do better next time.

Lessons learned

The only one that is always willing to listen and help is GOD.

Your real true friend is your FAMILY.

I learned that the only person created by GOD that will never leave you (sa hirap at ginhawa) and will be by your side no matter what. The one who will support you and encouraged you is no other than YOURSELF.

That’s my 2010. So much to thank for… and Im hoping a full of blessings and love 2011.

 

 

2011
01/09
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just reading….

Because i have nothing to do today, i read blogs of my friends. And its a good thing some of the blogs really makes me smile. Its one of Ryan’s post, well I really enjoyed reading all his post, somehow I can relate to some of it. but his post titled Question for this week: Me Asawa ka na? is my fave… I imagined him answering the same questions so many times hahahahah. At the end of the post he seems defensive but I really understand his sentiment, I also feel that way sometimes. 🙂 🙂 🙂 and earlier i also read inay’s blog titled Challenge to meet HIM.

Its true that when you reach that age (25 and above) everybody is expecting you to be “in a relationship” or “married” status.  hehehe and most of the time nakaka pressure sumagot sa mga nag tatanung.. hmmm pwede bang next question pls. or ganun talaga kanya kanyang trip lang yan…. walang basagan ng trip..  .. 🙂 🙂 🙂

2010
08/27
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tomorrow,,,,i’ll be okay…

The past few days is not that good to me. Yesterday is the worst I just cant stop myself from crying… tears keep flowing on my eyes and i really felt so alone.I really thankful for my girls for saying ” hang in there,girl”….” this is one of the worst day of my life” is what i wrote on my fb shout out, some of my friends ask why but its not easy to explain.  Today is not a good day either. i dont have someone to talk to right now (busy ang lahat) so mag blog na lang ang drama ko.  Right now Im in the middle of nowhere I really don’t know what to do. I’m afraid of what might happen, of what someone I care might say. This is the time that courage and will is all i need to have, but I cant help it, I’m losing some of it. Life is really hard sometimes.  one of my girl says it okay; on just ordinary day i would say yeah it is… but now i just cant say that cause its really not okay. peru sabi sa isang noodles commercial ” Tomorrow is another day” 🙂 🙂 🙂

“Tough times never last, Tough people DO”

fight……….

tomorrow …………………………….maybe I will be okay.. 🙂

2010
08/27
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# 12 in my 101 list

“Try at least one extreme activity” this is what i wrote on my number 12. When i included this in my list i really can’t think of any activity that i can do.  But i realized its easy coz when your ME everything else become extremes lols.. I dont know any sports. name it, I can’t do it (more lols). I don’t even know how to swim but i grew up in a town surrounded with rivers, falls and beaches(WAPAK). And one thing i’m really afraid of is HEIGHTS. I remember when I was a little girl my cousins always bring me to the fiesta carnival, and they are very  fond on riding the ferris wheel. My first try on that monster wheel is really not funny (lol) when the ferris wheel starting to ascend my stomach also starting to rumble and i cant hold my self I throw up. (eww) . In fairness naman to me.. since then I really try naman… I go out with my friends to star city but nakikita ko pa lang bumabaliktad na sikmura ko…

Until…

me and my friend Ann visited Sentosa with her little brother, there’s one activity there that caught my attention its called the LUGE and Skyride.  by the look of it  think i can do it hmmmm actually they challenged me so we bought 2 way ticket(PAK lakas ng loob) just for the skyride.. we started on the upper part. The moment  I sat on the chairlifts I felt nervous and i just wanted to go back. but its no turning back cause the skyride is a continuous rotation activity.  when were in the middle I just cant explain what i feel, Im really afraid, i felt suffocated, Im super tensed, I felt cold and I cant control my tears from falling on my cheeks  as in sabi ko nga GOD bakit ba aku naksakay sakay dito…” Ann is really laughing at me and taking my pictures while his brother is too busy  recording ng litanya ko grrrrrrrrr buti na lang theres no video….. but the view from the top is really worth it all.. Its very beautiful somehow it calms me. Its not everyday you see something like that.

After that they ask me to try  the singapore flyer.. I said maybe next time when Im ready….lolz. But its really a new experienced for me and promise I’m going to try it again.. PAK.

2010
08/05
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A date with my father

My 101 list minus #2 and #7 🙂

I always wanted to have a date with my popsie but our schedules dont allow us.. On the day before the father’s day I call him and ask him if he’s not too busy and have  a little time to spend with us. I have plan to bring them to the movie, and he say yes…So its a date. Its been 15 years since the last time I watch movie with my father,so I guess its the first time for the long time.. hehehehe…

We meet at the SM centerpoint and have our late lunch at KFC. its a wonderful feeling, its rare for us to be together like that.. Me my popsie and my two siblings and my future sister in law also join us(wee 🙂 ). After we ate we watched prince of persia.. posie and my two brothers are funny, they’re discussing the movie while watching it the man near them; looking at them  pissed off. nyahahaha.

My popsie really dont want to buy expensive things. like for example the eyeglasses he always wear this cheap eyeglass bought from naglalaku (what he calls it) for 80 pesos only..  im always convincing him to go with me to visit a real Opthalmologist so he can wear the right eyeglass, after all he really needed it he’s 50 years old. but he always have an alibi… i really can’t won on him on that issue.

after we finished the movie I ask popsie to join me to visit the eye clinic heheh there we go again on his alibi but i cut him off and said the check up is free and a lot of sale beacuse it’s father’s day treat.. So he was convince hehehe and I order a new eyeglass that really fit for him.yessss. im so happy when i see that he really felt good about the eyeglass and im smiling when i see his reaction when im paying the bill(nyahahahahah) he said “nene kala ko ba sale?”.

The time we decided to go home the rain pours, so we just find a place we can stay until the rains stop. we decide to have a pizza, we pass the ACE hardware and popsie saw the toolbox and i agree its really nice, makes all his stuff organized, he was looking at it so i said dad you want to buy this toolbox? he sad ahmm ” ay hindi, mahal eh maganda san” hehehhe so i bought it for him…then after eating pizza we call it A day..We headed home, popsie stay for a night and go to our privince the next morning…

I really wanted to do something special for my popsie and my mom.Before, i have plan to organize a birthday bash for his 50th birthday but it was cancelled because of work schedule. I have the chance this father’s day thanks to papa jesus. :-). But i realized that every time we spend with him specially if were complete ( me and my two brohers) is something special for him.( sana we do it also with mom)  I really saw something glowing on him everytime he looks on us… I really love to see my popsie smile, to hear him laugh.  I guess I am really a papa’s girl and I will always be.

Im hoping now and praying that one day i will have a day like this with my mom. a girl bonding maybe, shes million miles away from us.. but im sure i will make it happen.. soon.. We know our moms really love us with all her life.. 🙂 And were really missed her. I believe there’s always a right time for everything.

2010
06/30
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Million miles from my samwan

I read from one of my friend’s shout-out “it is sad when you don’t have samwan” the samwan term is nice… And now im missing my samwan.  it’s really hard to have a long distance relationship. thanks to our technology, today its easy for us to hit the keyboard and send email or chat or even see your special samwan on webcam. but in my case? gosh I’m not that lucky. my samwan always on the place where internet doesn’t exist hehehe (jowk most of the time no signal).. somewhere in the ocean. heheheh. haizzt. Actually im expecting this already even before we become a couple, i know someday  i will be used to it. The happiness and excitement I felt every time he’s going home is so unexplainable. But every time he’s going away its  just hmmmmm(may kurot). ahmm it’s not only sad when you don’t have samwan, but even you have samwan but not with you.. :-(for now my favorite song again is brandy’s Long distance.. super bagay.. But the good thing is every day that passed is one day closer to the day he’s going home. im looking forward to it. i know we can make it.. 🙂

2010
06/14
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Me and my BIG mouth

Words can hurt people more than we physically hurt them, words is a powerful tool. we can use words to give us the power to enlighten someone, to make someone happy, to encourage someone, to express our feelings but we can also break someone, cause someone’s pain. In words coming out to our mouth, we can make or break someone’s day. I remember my parents always says “be careful on what you are saying to other people think first before talking”. In my life its not once that i hurt people by the words that I utter. And often I hurt those people who are closest to my heart. sometimes I mean it but most of the time its just a cause of “not thinking before talking” and its too late to say sorry… Sometimes after I said something i will just realized that i should not say that, and its too late for me and my big mouth and i end up feeling guilty as charge. 😦

There are people who use the word power greatly, they are those speakers who always give advice and encouragement to us. Some of them wrote it , they are those writers of self improving books and the like. but not all people has the gift, sometimes we cant express our selves using the right words and end up mis understood.

Well all I can do now is exert a lot of effort to practice the “think first before talking” and hoping someday my words become inspiration to others. 🙂

2010
05/27
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Not with Romeo

Last May 8,2010 i attended the wedding of one of my friend. I serve as her veil sponsor, the preparation for the event is so stressful. On the night before the event the bride ask me if when is my plan to get married. I just smiled at her and ask her “why are you getting married?” her answer is not what im expecting her to say.. I’m expecting an “coz i love him so much”answer but its not her reason, and he became teary eyed.

In the midst of the ceremony I caught the eye of the bride and from what i am seeing I guess not all the girls dream wedding happens. Its not that she doesnt love the guy, after all she decided to marry him.. I guess its the same sad and painful situation of other people when Juliet not really end up with her Romeo, but with someone else.

While the pastor announced “you are now husband and wife”  I smiled and pray that their love story will be a happy ever after.

I guessed sometimes marrying someone is not all for love, there are other reasons maybe reasons that we can’t explain why.Maybe is not a start that we’re expecting but who knows maybe that someone else is really the Romeo in the end. 🙂

2010
05/22
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